Raise Request

‎​‎​I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

    a) I do physical labor
    b ) I work at great depths.
    c) I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
    d) I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
    e) I work in a damp environment.
    f) I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    g) I work in high temperatures.
    h) My work exposes me