Things Wife Doesn't Use

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

' You disrespectful pig !' she cried . ' How dare you do this to me----a faithful wife,the mother of your children !'  I'm leaving you . I want a divorce!'

The husband replied  'Hang on just a minute love ,so at least I can tell you what happened.'

Fine , go ahead ' she sobbed , 'But