Rahasia Orang Baik Kenapa Cepet Mati

Kenapa Orang Baik Cepet Mati... ?Pria/Wanita : Wahai Malaikat.. Kenapa kami mati muda??! Padahal selama hidup kami selalu berbuat baik... Ini tidak adil...!!! Protes mereka..Malaikat Maut pun bingung lalu membuka daftar perbuatan si pria/wanita selama hidupnya didunia dan mulai bertanyaa...Malaikat : Apakah selama hidup kalian pernah dugem ???Pria/Wanita : Tidak !!! Jawab mereka dgn lantang..

Info Sate Gratis

Boy pergi ke warung sate Cak Kodir bermaksud untuk membeli sate..Boy: Pak, beli sate kambing 1100 tusuk yah !!..?Cak Kodir : Oh iya dik, pedes apa enggak? (dalam hati... wuah pesenan gede nih!!..mantabsssss )Boy: Yg gak pedas 657 tusuk, yg sedeng 372 tusuk, sisanya yg pedes..,Trus yg gak pedes 127 tusuk bumbu kecap gak pake bawang, 292 tusuk pake ati gak pake bawang, 52 tusuk yg bumbu kecap tadi

Sex Sebagai Sumber Energi

PERHATIAN!Artikel ini ditulis berdasarkan beberapa fakta dan pemikiran yang tidak semuanya adalah benar. Fakta-fakta tersebut didapat melalui ngobrol dengan teman, buku, dll. MBDC hanya mencoba menguraikan beberapa fakta yang bisa dihitung dengan fakta lain, yang mungkin tidak ada sangkut pautnya. Apabila kamu menemukan kesalahan didalam penghitungan-penghitungan ini, ada kemungkinan kamu benar …

Cara Membaca Karakter Wanita berdasarkan bentuk payudaranya

Payudara diciptakan selain memiliki fungsi anatomi pada tubuh wanita sebagai alat untuk menyusui dan fungsi lainnya. Analisa terbaru memberikan penemuan yang cukup unik dan mengejutkan, bahwasanya organ wanita yang satu ini memberi arti secara psikologis kepada pemiliknya, yang kemudian memungkinkan kita dapat membaca karakternya berdasarkan payudara yang dimilikinya:1. PAYUDARA MONTOK :Wanita

How To Get Oral Sex From Your Girlfriend

A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys  put their dicks?""Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter."But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

How To Win A Free Sex

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its salesso the Owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex.The buyer then guessed (8), the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was (7). Sorry,

How Beer Can Help Avoid Fights With Your Wife

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts.""

Irish Man and The St. Patrick

An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman,  and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?"
The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend

Sex With The Dog

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film  and it was due out in a month.A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With  his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row,  next to a couple who also seemed

Condoms for the Daughter

Three drunks were sitting at a bar.The first one said... "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."He paused. "I didn't even know she smoked!"The second drunk said... "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room,  looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!"The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak.."I can

The Biggest Dick Ever

A guy's walking along and sees a sign in a window that says, "$500 cash prize to anyone who can make my horse laugh." The guy goes in and asks to give it a try. He's in there 5  seconds and the horse just starts laughing out of control. The man walks out of the room and collects his $500.
A year  goes by and the same guy's walking by the same building, and  there's a new sign in the window.
And

When You Have To Take A Shit Real Bad

Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men's  Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and  in desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in the pot and leaves.Two weeks later, he gets a

How To Get Blow Job from Your Secretary

A middle aged businessman goes to see his physician.
"Doctor, I've got this problem," the man says. "My secretary, she loves to give blow jobs. Every morning when I get to work I get a blow job. She gives me a quick one before I leave for lunch. And before I leave work at the end of the day she really works me over."
"So what seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, you see, my wife is

Bra For The Jesus Followers

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly went up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.""What type of bra?" asked the clerk."Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?""Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety,

How To Save Airlines

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping

Alphabet . . . For Guys !

"A" is for Awesome"B" is for Bouncing"C" is for Creamy"D" is for Dark"E" is for Euphoric"F" is for Fake"G" is for Gigantic"H" is for Hangers"I" is for In-Your-Face"J" is for Jiggly"K" is for Killer"L" is for Licking"M" is for Milky"N" is for Nippy"O" is for Orgasm"P" is for Pierced"Q" is for Quality"R" is for Ripe"S" is for Sucking"T" is for Tiny"U" is for Underwater"V" is for Virtual"W" is for

Ramalan Jayabaya

RAMALAN JAYABAYA. / JAYABAYA PREDICTION01.  Besuk yen wis ana kreta tanpa jaran.      ( One day there will be a cart without a horse ).02. Tanah Jawa kalungan wesi.      ( The island of Java will be circled by an iron necklace ).03.  Prahu mlaku ing dhuwur awang-awang.      ( There will be a boat flying in the sky ).04.  Kali ilang kedhunge.      ( The river will loose its current ).05.  Pasar

Einstein Never Published Theory

WHO KNEW..Einstein was born March 14, 1879.He would be 130 if he were alive today.Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed.He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if

Brain teasers - with answers

1. Tom's mom had three children. The first was named May, the second was June. What was the third childs name?

2.
The manufacturer doesn't want to use it, the buyer doesn't need to use
it  and the user doesn't know he's using it. What is it?

3. The word CANDY can be spelled using just 2 letters. Can you figure out how?

4.
Bill bets Craig $100 that he can predict the score of the hockey game

Sarah Palin Vs Michelle Obama

A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked; 'How did the human race start?'

Sarah Palin answered, 'God made Adam and Eve;

They had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama and asked the same question..

Michelle Obama answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl went to her father and said,

Jangan Beli Radio Merk Phillips - Customer Review

Seorang petani membeli radio di toko.
"koh, saya mau beli radio pilip"Radio philips dibeli, setelah mendapat penjelasan cara menyetelnya radio dibawa pulang.Besoknya si petani datang ketoko itu lagi sambil membawa radio yg kemarin dibeli."koh, jangan tipu saya ya, saya minta radio ini dituker sama radio pilip beneran"Jawab pemilik toko : "lho ini radio pilip beneran"Si petani malangkerik : "wah

Tips Antri Ketika Diskon Atau Obral

Sebuah toko sembako besar mengadakan obral besar.Pagi-pagi benar sudah terlihat antrian panjang, orang berjejal di depan pintu toko yang baru akan buka jam 9 pagi.Seorang lelaki tua tampaknya tidak sabar, dia memotong antrian paling depan. Orang-orang yang antri kesal,"Hei! Antri dong..." Si lelaki itu ditarik dan didorong ke belakang.Rupanya lelaki tua ini tidak kapok. Dia mencoba utk yang kedua

Tips Apabila Tersesat Ketika Mendaki Gunung

Makanya Kalau Berdoa Jangan Sembarangan .....Ada sekelompok anak muda yang mengadakan acara mendaki gunung. Kemudian ada temannya yang ingin istirahat, kemudian temannya yang satu pergi ke suatu tempat untuk buang air kecil, setelah ditunggu oleh temannya nggak juga datang2 akhirnya ditinggal oleh temannya.Akhirnya si teman yang satu ini berangkat sendiri sambil mencari temannya, tetapi tidak

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Kumpulan istilah Semarangan untuk dokumentasi sejarah Kota Semawis.Selain istilah2, ada pula nama2 jalan dan tempat2 yang unik. Sebagian besar nama2 tersebut sudah diganti nama2 baru, sebagian lagi sudah hilang. Sebelum kita lupakan nama2 tersebut yang menggambarkan sejarah Kota Semawis, saya catat nama2 unik yang saya ingat, dan saya yakin banyak diantara kita yang sudah tidak tahu lagi, antara

Mengenal 9 Type Wanita JAWA Ideal

Sahabatku sekalian... berikut ini saya perkenalkan 9 type wanita JAWA ideal yg saya kutip dari buku kuno Kamasutra JAWA. Tentu maksud saya disini, hanya ingin sharing sedikit pengetahuan saya tentang ilmu Kejawen. Silakan kalian simak dan semoga ini bisa menjadi tolok ukur bagi para lelaki yg sedang mencari calon istri dan tentu saja juga sebagai bahan introspeksi diri bagi para istri dan para

Cara Memenangkan Hak Asuh Anak Bila Bercerai

Dalam suatu sidang perceraian yg akan memutuskan siapa yg mdptkan hak asuh anak.

Sambil berteriak histeris dan me lompat2 si istri berkata :"Yang Mulia, Saya yg mengandung, melahirkan bayi itu ke dunia dng kesakitan dan kesabaran saya !! Anak itu hrs saya yg mengasuh !"

Hakim lalu berkata kpd pihak suami: "Apa tanggapan anda?"

Si suami pun menjawab: Yang Mulia jika saya memasukkan KOIN 

Cara Terlambat Ke Sekolah Tanpa Kena Hukuman

Guru tanya pada murid mengapa kok datang terlambat.
Jawab si murid : sebelum bel bunyi sebetulnya saya sdh dekat sekolah pak, tapi dijalan ada papan peringatan

"anda memasuki area sekolah, jalan pelan2 !"

Maka saya terlambat jadinya !!!

Gadis Dengan Rok Mini yang Seksi

Seorang gadis menemui pacarnya di cafe, si pacar melihat gadisnya pakai rok sangat mini langsung nanya :

"kamu pakai pakaian begini apa tidak dimarahi mamamu ?"
Jawab si gadis : "ya aku gak bilang ama Mama, kl Mama tahu aku pinjam roknya ini dia pasti marah"

Murid Ini Membunuhku

Murid-murid: Selamat datang Bu Guru!Bu guru: Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar baik-baik. Hari ini Bu Guru akan menguji kalian semua tentang lawanan kata atau antonim kata. Kalau Bu Guru sebutkan perkataannya, kalian semua harus cepat menjawabnya dengan lawan katanya, mengerti?Murid-murid: Mengerti Bu Guru...Guru: Pandai!Murid-murid: Bodoh!Guru: Tinggi!Murid-murid: Rendah!Guru: Jauh!Murid-murid: Dekat!

Americans Never Exercise

"According to a new study, 50% of Americans are not getting enough exercise.

We hear this all the time.

You want Americans to exercise more,

make the remote heavier."

How To Get License To Kill

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now

True Bra Size Meaning

Have you ever wondered why A B C D E F are the letters used to define bra sizes? It is about time you became informed! {A} - Almost Boobs {B} - Barely there {C} - Can Do {D} - Damn good {DD} - Doubly damn good {E} - Enormous {F} - Fake

Penis Interview for Miss World

Question : Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms America : Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.Question : How can you say so?Ms America : Because it stands every time it sees a woman........(Applause! Applause!)Question : Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms Spain : Male organs in our country are like our very own

The Newest Alphabet In The World

A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float.Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.Now The AlphabetA's for arthritis;B's the bad back,C's the chest pains,Perhaps car-d-iac?D is for dental decay and decline,E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!F is for fi ssures and fluid retention,G is for gas which we'd rather

Three Stupid Stages of Life

We have 3 stupid stages of life………..Teen age:Have Time + Energy …but No MoneyWorking Age:Have Money + Energy …but No TimeOld age:Have Time + Money …but no Energy

How To Get Sex With Your Secretary

Its my Birthday.Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning", let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. "The children came down to breakfast and didn't

The Reason Why Parents Hitting The Child

What's wrong?Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears.
“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.

Management Test

This came to me from a coworker earlier today. For some reason, I find it rather amusing.The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are NOT that difficult.1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you

Confusing Chinese Names

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)SuzieLeow => Lose till death (Hokkien)Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)Nelson Tan =>

29 ways to know if you're Chinese

Have a good laugh at yourselves !!!, Oh My goodness ! Are you VERY Chinese  ?Please check the list to see how Chinese you really are. 29 ways to know if you're Chinese.You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them.1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons).2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store

How To Create Perfect Marriage

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship; she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.2. We also sleep in separate beds; Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.3. I take my wife everywhere; but she keeps finding her way back.4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "

Generasi Jadul

Komunitas 90'an

PD = Percaya Diribela-belain bangun pagi, just to watch Power Rangers hari Minggu jam 9...dan Doraemon jam 8...eits, jangan lupa Detective conan & Dragon Ball afterwards...dan Simba Singa Putih...la la la la la...How 'bout Saint Seiya, hari Senin Jam 5 d RCTIcewe2 : Sailormoon (sailor Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Tuxedo bertopeng, dll)so tell me what u want, what u really2 want (

Panggilan untuk Keluarga orang Cina

Seboetan ini berlakoe oentoek kalangan pergoeroean sahadja, njang temtoe laen dengen seboetan kloewarga tjoro Tjino njang sangat 'komplikeited' dibandingken dengen seboetan ala orang Koelon (Barat), njang tjoeman njeboet oom/tante tanpa taoe itoe soedara dari siapa (fihak papa/mama).Seboetan doenija 'kang-ouw':•    Soeheng (师兄), ngkooh pergoeroean = senioor •    Soetjie (师姐), ntjie pergoeroean =

Cara Membangkitkan Gairah Seks Yang Telah Pudar

Penyembuhan Hipnotis

Seorang wanita pulang mengabarkan pada suaminya kalau penyakit migrain menahunnya sudah sembuh total. Rupanya dia pergi mengunjungi ahli hipnotis.
Dia disuruh berdiri menghadap cermin, lalu menatap matanya sambil mengulangi kata-kata
"Saya tidak punya migren, saya tidak punya migren, saya tidak punya migren".
Hasilnya? Migrennya lenyap."Wah...hebat benar Ma!", jawab

Oneng Betawi Aseli

Oneng MenelponOneng : "bang, telpon kite jelek nih"Badjuri : "emang nape?"Oneng : "kagak bise nelpon 911 bang?"Bajuri : "lagak lu kayak bule' aje, Neng, emangnye lu udah coba pencet?"Oneng : "kagak bisa dipencet, kagak ade angka 11 nye."Oneng KecelakaanOneng datang ke dokter dengan kedua telinganya luka bakar.Dokter : Apa yang terjadi?Oneng : Aye sedang nyeterika dan telepon berdering, aye salah

Hanya Terjadi di Indonesia

- Orang bisa antri Raskin sambil pegang HP,- Pelajar bisa nunggak SPP sambil merokok,- Orang tua lupa siapkan SPP, karena terpakai untuk beli TV dan kulkas,- Orang bule mabuk karena kelebihan uang, orang kampung mabuk beli minuman patungan,- Para pengungsi bisa berjoged dalam tendanya,- Orang-orang dapat membeli gelar akademis di ruko-ruko tanpa kuliah,- Ijazah Doktor luar negeri bisa di beli

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