Undangan William & Kate

Nambut Silaning Akrami

KATE MIDDLETON, Amd.
(Putri Bpk. Michael / Ibu Carole)

kaliyan

WILLIAM ARTHUR PHILLIP LOUIS,SE,MM
(Putra Bpk. Charles Philip Arthur George / Ibu Diana Spencer .almh)

Dhaup Suci :

Dinten : Jumat Kliwon
Suryo Kaping : 29 April 2011
Wanci Tabuh : 09.30
Mapan ing : Wsminster Abey, London

Winantu Sagunging Pakurmatan,

Kanthi Lumaraping Nawala Sedhahan, Minangka Sesulih

Duka Cita Mbah Parjo

Suatu malam seorang laki-laki berkata :
"Kita lahir ke dunia ini bersama-sama, kita jalani masa2 indah bersama, suka-duka bersama. Tapi kenapa teganya kamu mati duluan meninggalkan aku sendirian?".
Demikian pertanyaan Mbah Parjo sambil mengintip si buyung di dalam sarungnya.

Down to The Last Penny

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.

He gives the young boy three 5 rupee coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.

The boy coughs up 2 of the coins but is still choking.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for

When Doctor Having Sex

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers.
They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors.
After about an hour, the man says to the woman.
"Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun."
The woman doctor agrees to it.
So, they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom.
She goes in the

Sniffer

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

'His name is Sniffer and

Words to Remember

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

Some Wacky Mature Quotes

If necessity is the mother of invention, then…
Frustration is the  father of masturbation!

Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick  look bigger !

I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the  bed.

Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is,  someone somewhere  is tired of fucking her!

The difference between sex and death is that, with death, you  can do it 

Overdue

Mr. Sharma comes home one night and his wife throws her arms around his neck: I have great news... I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!!! The doctor gave me a test today but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company)  because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I

Topless

Seorang kakek tua berusia 85 tahun pergi mengunjungi dokter kelamin untuk memeriksa kandungan spermanya. Sang dokter mengambil sebuah toples kecil dan berkata,’BAWA TOPLES KECIL INI PULANG DAN BAWA KEMBALI ESOK HARI DENGAN CONTOH SPERMA ANDA DI DALAMNYA,'

Keesokannya kakek tersebut datang kembali ke klinik* dan memberikan toples kecil itu kepada sang dokter. Akan tetapi toples kecil itu masih

Perahu Akan Tenggelam

Perahu berisi 3 orang akan tenggelam.

Orang pertama :  Alllahuakbar ,..  Tuhan maha besar,.. " dampingi aku "
Orang kedua    :  Ya BAPA,..  bukankah Engkau pernah meredakan angin,..  " dampingi Aku"

Orang ketiga bernama " Loe Tjiak Lat. "
Matiiii gua ,.. ini prau udah mau kelelep,. malah teman teman gua ini mau nambah beban "2"  lagi .

KUNJUNGAN MENDADAK SBY

SBY melakukan kunjungan dadakan ke sebuah rumah sakit jiwa.
Pihak RSJ kalang kabut dan membuat penyambutan sekenanya. Staf RSJ berjajar, juga pasien yg dianggap sdh agak waras.

SBY menyalami mereka. "Saya SBY," ia memperkenalkan diri pd salah seorang yg tampaknya tak kenal dia.

"Oh, tidak apa-apa," sahut orang itu. "Saya waktu baru masuk juga ngaku Pak Harto kok, Nanti lama-lama sembuh sendiri."

The Queen and Dolly

The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these,

What Women Want in a Man?

What Women Want in a Man?

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
 
Revised List (age 32):

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more

The Good Old Days - Before and After Internet

As time marches forward it is becoming increasingly difficult to remember what life was like before the Internet. For some of today's youth the Internet in it's current form has always existed. So let's take a moment to reminisce about what life was like before the Internet (and what has changed since it's conception) before we all forget.


Before: Family time was spent watching TV or playing

Children's Reply

I always love the joke involve children.... their replies always make more sense......


TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:         Here it  is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________________________________  

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to

Show Your Badge

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants

Met Kenal Yach

Sebuah sperma yang baru lahir sedang diajar oleh instrukturnya :

"Begitu kamu disemprot keluar, berenang sekencangnya sampai ke ujung gua dan kamu akan ketemu bulatan merah bernama telur.

Deketin dia dan bilang : "Saya sperma."

Dan dia akan bilang : "Saya telur."

Dari situ kamu akan mulai bikin calon anak. Mengerti?".

Si sperma mengangguk dengan mantapnya.

Dua hari kemudian waktu lagi asik

Water in Carburetor

How to explain your problem in a controlled way.....

A woman comes home from her shopping tour and says to her husband:

"My car has got water in the carburetor! "

Husband: Come, come! How would you know, not having the faintest idea of a car engine?

Woman: Believe me, there is water in the carburetor.

Husband: Give me the key, I’ll have a look at that. She hands the key over to him. While

Mafioso

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

"You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead."

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a

Golfing accident

Two women were playing golf.

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a group of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical

How to Impress a Woman & Men

How to IMPRESS a WOMAN

Listen to her,

compliment her,

respect her,

honor her,


comfort her,

protect her,

hug her,

cuddle her

tease her,

spend money on her,

wine and dine her,

buy things for her,

reassure  her,

go to the ends of the Earth for her.

kiss her,

caress her,

stroke her,

love her,




How to IMPRESS a MAN

Show up naked but have

a beer in your hand.

Babbo Ristorante NYC - Too Successful for your own good

I have been to many transporting Northern Italian "pasta" based restaurants. I have been to most of Mario Batali's restaurants and have found them to be world class. From Del Posto to Casa Mono and The Spotted Pig Mario finds great chefs, has high standards, and does a great job. The problem with Babbo is that is WAY TOO popular for your own good as a diner. The place is so busy and so crowded that, while it is an exciting mob scene experience, they simply cannot provide the world class food and service that the menu, chef, ingredients, staff, and venue is capable of.



I hate to say this as a diner but I know it to be true: Mario needs to literally double the prices here to get "crowd control" and quality control. I know this because I had one of the best meals of my life at the B&B Ristorante in the Venetian in Las Vegas eating the same menu items I had a Babbo. The B&B is a virtual knockoff of Babbo also owned by Mario and Bastianich. The room, menu, and everything is almost identical - but it is not over crowded - and guess what? The prices for each identical dish are almost double what they are at Babbo - which is a general reversal of what I find most NYC celebrity chef restaurant price comparisons with the Las Vegas spinoffs.



I believe Mario and Bastianich are intentionally pricing low and overstuffing the place with diners as a homage to their first really successful restaurant - it is almost a public service to them to allow as many people as possible to enjoy the place. I can easily see why many people think this is an incredible value and unbelievable menu - it is just not what it could and should be.