Tole Yang Pintar

Tole baru masuk SD kelas 1, hari pertama dia sudah protes sama ibu guru.. “Bu.. saya seharusnya duduk di kelas 3..” bu guru nya heran.. “Kenapa kamu yakin begitu..?” Tole menjawab dengan mantap..”Soalnya saya lebih pintar dari kakak saya yang sekarang kelas 3..”

Akhirnya bu guru membawa Tole ke ruang kepala sekolah.. Setelah diceritakan oleh bu guru, pak kepala sekolah mencoba menguji Tole

Peribahasa Yang Gagal

Kumpulan Peribahasa yang tidak diajarkan disekolah:

1.Bersatu kita teguh, bertiga kita threesome:D

2.Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya disate juga:'(

3.Karena sperma setitik, bengkak perut tetangga:p

4.Rajin Mangkal, Kaya(k) Ojek:b

5.Bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita ikut "Take Me Out":$
   (sebuah acara ajang pemilihan jodoh di TV)

6.Guru kencing jongkok, murid berlari ngintip. (

Orangtua Itu Memang Aneh

Orang tua itu memang aneh kata seorang anak muda bernama Amin.

kemarin ketemu di pesta pernikahan mereka semua menanyainya KAPAN NYUSUL ?.. Amin berang dengan pertanyaan itu karena selama ini dia kesulitan mencari pacar. Namun dia harus menjawab dengan SENYUM SENYUM dan senyum seyum.

Giliran Amin hadir dalam pelayatan bersama mereka para orang tua dan bertanya dengan pertanyaan yang sama KAPAN

Wanita Vs Pria

WANITA MEMANG SUSAH DIBUAT "BAHAGIA" !!

Jika dikatakan cantik dikira menggoda ,
jika dibilang jelek di sangka menghina..
Bila dibilang lemah dia protes,
bila dibilang perkasa dia nangis .

Maunya emansipasi, tapi disuruh benerin genteng, nolak
(sambil ngomel masa disamakan dengan cowok)

Maunya emansipasi, tapi disuruh berdiri di bis malah cemberut
(sambil ngomel, Egois amat sih cowok ini tidak

Puisi Marga Batak

BBM naik,
membuat aku serba silalahi,
hidup tambah simanungkalit,
pandapatan manurung,
sehari dapat pasaribu saja sudah bagus
sihotang dimana-mana,
tak ada lagi harahap,

Rakyat miskin sudah pangaribuan,
tinggal dekat tambunan sampah
anak menangis marpaung-marpaung,
otak sudah sitompul,

keadaan makin ginting,
usaha panjaitan sudah bangkrut,
kepala pusing sibutar-butar,
rambut rontok nyaris

A TV Interview Which was Never Aired in Ireland

A TV INTERVIEW WHICH WAS NEVER AIRED IN  IRELAND ....

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter....

The interview was as follows: ...

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on

Occupation

Hooker's Tax Return

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.'

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. And then asks, 'What is your occupation?' The woman replies, 'I'm a whore.'
The accountant balks and says, 'No, no, no. That will never work. That is much

Underwear Dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' 
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself

Doggy style

A happily married man, one night, asked his wife to have sex "doggy style.
""No!" she said, aghast.
Throughout their long relationship, he would periodically ask her to have sex "doggy style."
She always emphatically said "No!"
Finally, on the man's deathbed, he asked his wife why she refused his simple request to have sex on her hands and knees." Hands and knees?"
she said, "I thought you meant

Like A Tiger

A man asks his doctor, "Can I have sex with my pregnant wife?"

The doctor replies, "Yes, the first 3 months will be just like normal,

the next three months do it like a doggy ,

and the last three months, follow the tiger way."

The man asks, "Tiger ??"

The doctor explains, " Yes, Tiger Woods has a safe method: sleep with other women!"

Taruhan Si Nenek

Pada satu hari seorang Ibu Lansia muncul di sebuah Bank besar membawa satu koper dengan banyak uang yang dia mau setor. Tetapi dia hanya mau kalau langsung berhubungan dengan CEO dari Bank ini. Soalnya ini kan urusan jumlah uang yang banyak. Setelah diskussi simpang siur dengan staff dari Bank, .... achirnya persyaratan beliau dikabulkan.
Anyhow the Customer is the King / Queen.

Ketemu sama CEO

Wife Vs Girlfriend

*A Wife is like a TV*
**A Girlfriend is like a MOBILE**

At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE

When you have no money, you sell the TV and when you have got money you change your MOBILE

Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time you play with your MOBILE

TV is free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and

Ardath, Djarum & Minakjinggo

Sesaat setelah selesai makan siang di cafe salah satu gedung perkantoran, seorang wanita mengeluarkan ARDATH, dinyalakan dan dihisap. Tak ketinggalan pria didepannya juga mengeluarkan DJARUM-nya kemudian dinyalakan dan dihisap dalam dalam. Si pria memulai membuka pembicaraan

Bendera Irak

Kejadian ini di Baghdad, Irak. Seorang Kakek tua yg sudah mendekati ajalnya dirawat di RS. Seluruh keluarga besar berkumpul untuk mendampingi Kakek tercinta menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya. .Ditengah iringan bacaan doa dari keluarga, tiba-tiba si Kakek berbisik: 'Sebelum mati, aku ingin mencium bendera Iraq', Seketika seluruh anggota keluarga kebingungan, kemana harus mencari bendera Iraq di

Irish Priest

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits. I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.. under your robe

How to Make a woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy..

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13.. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22.

Driver's License

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

' Mommy ,'the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little

Sex Problems

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature' s way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop',

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

    * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

    * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.. None of them will have anything smaller and

Totally Married

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to

Consultants who Guessing Number of Sheep

A shepherd herding his sheep in a remote pasture when suddenly a new BMW sliding direction. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep are there in your herd, will you give me a tail?"

Shepherd looked at him and saw a flock of sheep pastures, and calmly replied, "Sure."

The toilet seat

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet.  Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out.  After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower.  Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.  As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy

Man Never Listen

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by

Loving Wife

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed

the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck,

then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his

Sugar Bowl

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.  During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was.  She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if

Women are Smart but Man's weakness

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get

Didn't Recognize

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come

Scotland's Lawyer

The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a well dressed, rather dignified and good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, I must inform you that Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.  So if you prefer, I can recommend someone else.", said the madam.

  "No, I must see Valerie." he

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when

What's so tough about being 80

Three golfers are walking down the fairway.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens."

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "

Logic Konsultan

Ceritera sehari-hari Dedot:
                  
Suatu hari Dedot makan di warteg.

D: "Makan maaaas.."

Mas warteg: (sambil ngelayanin) "Rapi bgt pak, pasti bapa gajinya gede."

D: "Yaaa.. lumayan lah."

Mas warteg: "Emang kerjanya apaan pak?"

D: "Saya logic konsultan."

Mas warteg: "Apaan tuh? Kerjanya ngapain pak?"

D: "Saya mengatasi masalah dgn logika."

Mas warteg: "Ga ngerti saya pak."

D:

Just Because

 (1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.
         A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is

Blowjob

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That

Surgeons

Four surgeons were on a lunch break talking about their work.

The first surgeon said, "I think accountants are d easiest to operate on. U open them up n everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon said, "I think librarians are d easiest to operate on. U open them up n everything inside is an alphabetical order."

The third surgeon said, "I like to operate electricians. U open them up n

Politics

Little Johnny was watching T.V. and he heard people talking about politics. So he asked his dad "what are politics?”

The dad says, "Johnny, let me tell you what politics are in my own words. Since I am the breadwinner of the family I am the capital. Since mommy deals with all the bills and taxes she is the government. Nanny is the working class since she takes care of you, you are the people and

Kisah di RSJ

Seorang dokter di RSJ melihat pasiennya yang sedang membuat kopi dan memasukkan sebutir obat ke dalamnya.

Dengan penasaran dokter bertanya kepada si pasien: "obat apa yang kau masukan ke kopimu?"
Pasien: "paracetamol obat penurun panas, Dok. biar kopinya cepet dingin"

Besoknya dokter melihat si pasien gosok2 'burung'nya dengan Antimo.

Kembali dokter bertanya: "kenapa kok kamu gosok2 dengan

Leonardo Di Caprio Papua

Ada org Papua mengaku namanya Leonardo Di Caprio.
Suatu hari dia meninggal dan sewaktu di akhirat ditanya oleh Malaikat.

Malaikat : Sapa ngana pe nama toh?
Org. Papua : Leonardo Di Caprio
Malaikat : Masa leh ngana pe nama nama betul itu? Tunggu ya saya mau talepon dulu pigi cek

Malaikat lgs ambe dia punya blackberry. Org. Papua bingung, Bapa Malaikat mo talepon ka sapa ...

Malaikat : Hallo..

​Kata Kata Buah yang Bijak

1. Jadilah Jagung, Jangan Jambu Monyet.

Jagung membungkus bijinya yg banyak, tapi jambu monyet memamerkan bijinya yang cuma satu2nya.

Artinya : Jangan suka pamer

2. Jadilah Pohon Pisang.

Pohon pisang kalau berbuah hanya sekali, lalu mati.

Artinya : Kesetiaan dalam pernikahan.

3. Jadilah Duren, Jangan Kedondong.

Walaupun luarnya penuh kulit yg tajam, tapi dalamnya lembut dan manis. Beda dgn

For My Dog

Seorang yang agak pelit minta pelayan restoran membungkus sisa makanan yang untuk dibawa pulang.

"It is for my dog" alasannya karena malu untuk bilang buat dirinya sendiri ntar di rumah.

Sewaktu pulang, pelayan restoran bilang : "Pak, saya tambahi sisa makanan dari tamu2 lainnya buat anjing Bapak".

Penghematan Total

Orang Indonesia , kalau suruh menghemat uang paling susah. Tapi kalau suruh hemat penyebutan, mungkin paling kreatif.

Ngga percaya?? Nih buktinya.... ..;-)

Solo Berseri, Jogja Berhati Nyaman, Temanggung Bersenyum, Cilacap Bercahaya, semuanya adalah singkatan. Juga untuk menyebut suatu kawasan, yang katanya akan menjadi suatu kawasan yang unggul dan berkembang.

Bermula dari Jabotabek (Jakarta

Kencing

Orang arab kencing keluar minyak.

Orang belanda kencing, keluar keju.

Orang Indonesia bingung, akhirnya dia buka celana sambil nungging, kemudian teriak, "SALAK BALI!!"

Diet

Don't do this at home. Artinya : buat anak-anak, jangan menjawab seperti di bawah ini ketika kamu diberikan pertanyaan seperti dibawah ini oleh bu guru atau tante atau siapapun.

Tante : Annie, apa yang akan kau lakukan jika nanti kau sudah besar seperti mamamu?

Annie : Diet.

Cowok - Cewek Q&A

Q : Apa persamaan cowok sama tikus??
A : Sama-sama cari lubang.

Q : Apa persamaan cewek sama monyet??
 A : Sama-sama kegirangan dapat pisang.

Q : Apa bedanya kecoa sama cewek??
A : Klo kecoa, disemprot dulu baru telentang. Sedangkan cewek, telentang dulu baru disemprot.

Chinese, Indian and Malaysian

American Spaceman is called Astronaut
Russian Spaceman is called Cosmonaut
Chinese Spaceman is called Taikonaut
Malaysian Spaceman??? - Can-or-naut

Dr. M (The Prime Minister) was thinking about sending somebody into space.
Three potential can-or-nauts were called for an interview.
An Indian, a Malay and a Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission..
How

Adult Joke

(1)  To make it straight, she pulls it..
    To make it stand, she rubs it.
    To make it stiff, she licks it.
    To put it in, she pushes it.
    It's hell of a job threading a needle!

(2)  A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, he wanted his blood back.
    The girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said,  I'll pay you in monthly installment.'

(3)  Girl in cinema turns

Holy Humor

It doesn't hurt to have a little Biblical humor to start the day

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah .He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter.

Hukum & Fakta Sex

Hidup tanpa sahabat itu seperti payudara tanpa puting.. Pointless.

Apa kata penis kepada Condom..?
"Cover me..Cover me..I'm going In.."

Hukum Sex :
Boys say it's Great, Boys says it's fine.. 9months later boys say "it's not mine"..
‎​
Diantara paha pria adalah setan, diantara paha wanita adalah neraka.. Kuncilah setan didalam neraka, maka engkau akan merasakan surga.. ‎​

Persamaan kursus

Mispelled

The pastor asked if anyone in  the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have a  praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle  wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was  excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You  could hear a muffled gasp from the men

Levels of STRESS

VARIOUS LEVELS OF STRESS
Do you know the Difference between STRESSFUL vs VERY STRESSFUL vs EXTREMELY STRESSED vs REALLY STRESSED ???

Answer . . .
01. You pick up a hitchhiker on Route 66, a very beautiful elegant young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car and you take her to the nearest general hospital.
Now that’s STRESSFUL.

02. But, at the general hospital, they say that she is pregnant

Tukang Tambal Ban

Amat adalah seorang pemuda desa yg lugu. Pekerjaanya adalah sebagai tukang tambal ban di simpang jalan. Amat masih belum berumah tangga walaupun usianya uda hampir masuk kepala 4. Ibunya yg tiap hari mengomel dan menyarankan agar Amat lekas berumah tangga krn Amat adalah anak tunggal.

Suatu hari ibunya membawa pulang seorang anak gadis tuk dijodohkan sama Amat. Krn gak mau kecewakan ibunya Amat

Tire Leak Repairer

Nurdin is a young man from the village. He works as the village ‘tire leak repairer'. He is good at finding leaks / holes, but that is about all he knows in life. Although he is pushing 40, he is still single and he still lives with his mother. His mother is very anxious about Nurdin having a family of his own, but Nurdin seems not to be able to find a wife. One day the mother brought home a

Afterlife

A woman was worried about whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she prayed earnestly for God to allow him to speak to her.

"Hello, Margaret. This is Fred."

"Fred!" she exclaimed. "I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is
cleaner,

Wine Tester

In a wine factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink.

He tried it and said "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."

"

Adjie Massaid & Malaikat

Adjie Masaid protes keras pada Malaikat

Adjie Masaid : wahai malaikat.., kenapa saya mati muda?! padahal selama hidup saya selalu berbuat baik & tidak berbuat yg aneh2... ini tidak adil teriak Adjie Masaid.

Malaikat bingung  lalu membuka daftar perbuatan Adjie masaid selama hidupnya didunia dan mulai bertanya...

Malaikat: apakah selama hidup km pernah dugem

Adjie masaid : tidak, jwb Adjie

Indonesian Cabin Announcement Airlines By Bencong

Indonesian Cabin Announcement Airlines

Ledis en jentelmen, bekudis tempel semen, sesuai peraturan penerbangan, jadi eike mawar kasi liat cara pake itu sabuk yang ada di pinggang yey, baju buat mengapung-apung, dan masker oksigen dikala napas sesek.

biar yey nantinya bisa selamet, coba sini diliat dulu cara pasang itu sabuk yang melilit di pinggang yey, cara ngunci biar gak gampang lepas,

Tanya Jawab

Apa bedanya sekretaris baik sama sekretaris seksi?
Sekretaris baik "selamat pagi pak"
Sekretaris seksi "sudah pagi pak"

Bebek apa yg jalannya selalu muter ke kiri terus?
Bebek dikunci stang

Hewan apa yg bersaudara?
Katak beradik

Kenapa Superman celana dalamnya merah?
Karena lupa pake pembalut

Apa yg dikatakan orang bisu pertama kali bisa ngomong?
Tes.. tes... 1 2 3 dicoba...

Telor apa yg

Lelahnya Jadi Wanita

Pada usia 14 tahun, ada cowok yang pedekate, sungguh lelah ngumpet darinya.
Pada usia 24 tahun, tak ada yang pedekate, sungguh lelah memikirkannya.

Cowokku pura-pura mabuk dan mengajakku pulang ke rumahnya, sungguh lelah menolaknya.
Cowokku bener-bener mabuk dan muntah di lantai, sungguh lelah membersihkannya.

Ada yang pinjem uang sama cowokku, aku takut mereka tak bayar, sungguh lelah

Hal yang tidak akan pernah anda tahu tanpa Film Barat

... jika anda dikejar di dalam kota, anda biasanya bisa bersembunyi didalam rombongan parade - kapanpun setiap tahun.

... Sekali dipakai, lipstik tidak akan pernah luntur - bahkan saat anda sedang menyelam.

... Sistem ventilasi di gedung apapun adalah tempat bersembunyi yang paling baik. Tidak akan ada seorangpun yang akan berpikir untuk mencarimu disana dan anda dapat berjalan ke bagian gedung

What is Marketing?

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!”- That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.” - That’s Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next

Tebak Tebakan

apa beda Megi Z sama tukang sayur?
kalo Megi Z teriak 'teganya-teganya' , kalo tukang sayur 'togenya-togenya'

kenapa di komputer ada tulisan ENTER?
karena kalo tulisannya ENTAR, programnya 'ngga jalan-jalan, dong.....

apa bahasa Arabnya orang jatuh dari lantai 100 sebuah gedung?
innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun

binatang apa yang paling panjang?
ular ngantri beras

kenapa gorila lubang

Kebangaan Sang Ayah

Darsono, Wardi, Sugeng dan Jono janjian mengadakan reuni di Restoran yang ada tempat Karaokenya. Sambil makan, mereka berempat ber-bincang2 sambil bernostalgia. Setelah makan Darsono pamit meninggalkan teman2nya sebentar untuk nyanyi karaoke, "Minta lagu apa Rek? Dangdut?"

Sambil mendengarkan Darsono nyanyi, teman2nya melanjutkan obrolan mereka. "Bagaimana anak anakmu Geng?" tanya Wardi ke

Belajar

Suatu hari Wawan pergi ke Toko buku untuk mempelajari berbagai ilmu yang lagi ngetrend sekarang. Ketika ditanya hasilnya, ia pun menjawab :

Ya ... Saya Belajar berenang dengan menggunakan buku "Dasar-dasar renang", akhirnya memang setiap kali berenang saya selalu tenggelam di dasar kolam.

Saya belajar bahasa Prancis dengan menggunakan buku "Belajar sendiri Bahasa Prancis", akhirnya buku itu

New Panties

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.  She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God - I thought you were

The Face or Penis?

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.

It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."

As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from

Zinc Barrel Soup

Obama: "I want goat fried rice."

SBY (bisik2 sama ajudan-nya): "Nasi goreng kambing Kebon Sirih... Cepetan!!!"

Setelah makan Obama mengangguk tanda setuju.

Obama: "I want veal tail soup."

SBY (bisik2 sama ajudan-nya): "Sop buntut, dari Hotel Borobudur, cepetan!!!!!!!"

setelah makan Obama mengangguk tanda setuju.

Obama: "I want zinc barrel soup."

SBY kepada ajudan-nya: "Apaan tuh? Loe tau

Barrack Obama & Megawati

Pada Jamuan makan malam bersama Presiden Yudhoyono, Obama berusaha beramahtamah dengan Megawati yang sedang mengambil Salad di meja prasmanan:

Obama:  "Do You Like Salad?"

Megawati "Oh yes I do Like Shalat (Salad), even 5 times a day"

Obama "Oh that's very good, what kind of dressing do use?"

Megawati "Mukenah Of Course"

Obama : "terheran-heran dan berfikir mungkin itu dressing salad model

About Men & Women

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward...forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. ...forward. ......  stop and eject

Q: What

Little John's Black Eye

John walked into class every morning with a black eye . After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.

John answer was:
"Our house is very small Miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed.
Every night my father asks, 'John are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye.

So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks

Aids

KHAN  : "Mom, I've AIDS"
Mother : "Don't come back my son".
KHAN  : "Why Mom?".
Mother : "If you come back then your wife will be infected. From your wife to your brother, from your brother to our maid, from our maid to your dad, from your dad to my sister and from my sister to her husband, from him to me and from me to our driver, from our driver to your sister and if your sister got AIDS, then.

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'  The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,

Hardwork

A well dressed man went into a bar ordered a double whiskey. He stood there sipping his drink when another man came up and said "Is that you Pete??"
Pete said "My name is Pete, but I don`t think I know you"
The second man said "You do, it`s me, Martin we used to work at the company together before it closed down"
Pete said "Now I remember you, but what happened to you? You are all in scruffy

Ingredients are King at Eleven Madson Park

This is not the first time Eleven Madison Park has been reviewed on this blog; we ate there about a year ago and were very favorably impressed. But Eleven Madison Park is, in some ways, almost a completely different restaurant than it was a year ago. They've revamped their menu, not only in terms of the dishes offered, but also in terms of the concept. Now, rather than a list of dishes accompanied by descriptions, EMP's menu consists of a grid. Each space is occupied by a single word, such as "coffee" or "chicken" or "anise." You select either four or six items. The idea here is that the preparations of each dish will change frequently (made malleable by seasonal ingredients and chefly inspiration) or may be tailored to diner preferences. An interesting concept in principle, but it suffered in execution on the day we ate there.

After explaining how the menu "worked," our server did not then follow up with any dish descriptions. Rather, it was on us to ask. There were probably over 25 different dishes on the menu, and it felt awkward to ask about more than 3 or 4. Plus, once a dish was described to you, it felt sort of churlish not to order it (or was hard to process and remember all the details); almost as if you thought it didn't sound good. So, ordering was kind of a gamble. Some of the throws of the dice payed off, others didn't.

We chose the 4 course option, as it was lunch and we didn't want to spend the whole rest of the groaning we'd eaten too much.

As was the case the last time we ate at EMP, we got a lot more than four courses. There were several amuse bouche dishes, as well as palate cleansers between courses - among them were some of the best bites out of the whole meal.

The first amuse was a silky chicken veloute served in a coffee cup and accompanied by brioche toasts drizzled with truffle butter and chives. This dish blew me away because it was simple yet incredibly elevated. Plus, it tasted fabulous - hands down probably the best thing we had.

The second amuse was also quite special, a light lemon and Sturgeon sabayon with chive oil and small bits of sturgeon fish, all served in an egg shell. I'm not into really fishy things, so this dish immediately made me nervous, but I needn't have worried. The seafood flavors were subtle and well balanced by the lemon and chive oil.

For the first course, two of us chose the cold foie gras preparation, a mousse served with pineapple, pickled onions, and brioche toasts. On the side was a foie gras creme brulee (which struck me as quite original). The pineapple was an especially inspired sweet accompaniment.

The other two of us chose the prawns. These were served cold, poached and presented in a briny broth (also cold) alongside a green apple granita. As with other times I've had prawn combined with sweet elements (I'm thinking here of a prawn prepared sous vide with vanilla bean), it just didn't quite work for me. The prawns and broth seemed overly fishy and didn't, in my view, pair well with the cold apple granita. My husband, however, really enjoyed this dish.

For the next course, three of us chose the butter-poached lobster served with roasted chestnuts and a butternut squash puree. The lobster was rich and cooked just right; the pairing with the butternut puree was very wintry and satisfying. I could have done with fewer chestnuts.

My husband's second course was crab. This turned out to be King Crab served over a housemade egg tagliatelle pasta and a lemony butter sauce. It was very, very good and incredibly rich. Other main courses included a beef fillet with bernaise sauce topped with seared foie gras, chives, and sweet caramelized onion. This was (as you might guess) rich and decadent. I had the pork loin, which was served alongside a crispy/fatty pork belly with parsnip puree, horseradish and pear.

The desserts were the weakest link in the meal - poorly described (even by their single descriptor) and the least well-executed. Two of us had the dish described only as "chocolate." Oddly, there was very little chocolate present in the dessert. It might better have been labeled "squash" - there were butternut squash ice creams, caramelized winter squashes, and so on. Very little chocolate was present, and what was there didn't pair well with the squash. I had the "lemon" dessert, which was pretty good. There was a little lemon cake topped with lemon curd, candied lemon, and lemon foam.

All in all, I like the idea/concept EMP is trying with their menu, but found the execution spotty.

First Post

And that's it.